Recently I ran a half marathon, the San Francisco Half Marathon to be exact. It was a 13.1 course that went along the bay, across the Golden Gate Bridge, and into the city to end in Golden Gate Park. What follows is an account of the thoughts I had while running…
T-Minus 30 Minutes to Start:
I’m so excited! It’s going to be so fun. There are so many people here, but damn it’s so cold.
Oh! Here we go. What the. No gun, just a bell? So San Francisco. You ring that bell Glen Coco; you go Glen Coco.
Already some regret. It’s too early for this. Wait. Oh shit! It’s already been 1 mile?! Not bad. The water looks beautiful.
2 miles down! Still feeling good! Over the hump and running is just my life now. OH YAY! WATER STATION!
Chugging along…it looks like we’re about to enter the apocalypse. WTF San Francisco, this fog is like a wall.
Okay 4 miles down. Not bad. Wait a second. What the. IS THAT A PHILZ COFFEE TRUCK?! What a tease. Don’t be tempted. Don’t be tempted. Don’t be tempted.
OMG DOGGY! HI DOGGY! Was that a guy in a T-Rex costume just now? Rocking it. YAY WATER STATION. Oh shit, a hill. A big hill. FACK. Where is the stupid Golden Gate Bridge?! We haven’t even reached it yet?!
Okay, made it to the bridge. It’s the zombie apocalypse. FUCK, stupid fog horn scared the crap out of me. It’s so cold. Is this mist for real? It’s like I’ve been rained on…SHIT! SLIPPERY.
Fuck fuck fuck. My knee. It doesn’t hurt that bad. Mind over matter, mind over matter. Don’t stop on the bridge, don’t stop on the bridge. FUCK FUCK FUCK IT HURTS.
WATER STATION. AND GU. Thank goodness. This is a fine time for a little break. FUCK MY KNEE.
AND we’re running again. It’s cool. Slow and steady. Ain’t nobody trying to get injured up in this bitch. We’re cool. It’s cool. We’re good.
FUCK MY KNEE. FUCK THIS STUPID FOG WITH ITS WETNESS AND COLDNESS.
Alright I’m cool again. Just a quick pit stop to switch my knee band to the bad knee then I should be good. There’s only 3.1 miles left, which is only a 5K. I’ve done a 5K before. No problem. YAY WATER STATION.
FUCK now the other knee hurts. FML. WHICH ONE GETS THE KNEE BAND?! FUCK. But oh look! Another mile already?! So quick! YES! Don’t stop!
Umm….Fuck all these mini hills. Fuck em all.
OMG 12 miles already?! These last miles are flashing by! YESSSSSSSS. 1.1 miles to go! I can do this! FUCK YEAH! Look! A puppy! PUPPY HIGH FIVE!
Alright, just a little bit more. Where’s the finish line?
We’re in Golden Gate Park! Where’s the finish line?
Alright, the Full Marathoners are splitting off. Where’s the finish line for the 1st Half Marathon?!
GOOD LAWD WHERE IS THE FUCKING FINISH LINE?! *internal sobbing*
I SEE THE END.
YES! It’s over! I MADE IT! MY KNEES HURT SO BAD BUT I MADE IT! Never again! FUCK it’s cold. Gimme my medal! And that blanket thing. And the protein. And some fruit. Yeah, just give me all of it.
30 minutes post Finish:
Yeah…let’s do another one.
Hope you enjoyed! I’m thinking of signing up for another Half Marathon soon. Don’t know that I’ll ever make it to a Full, but we’ll see!
What are your thoughts while running? Do you suffer like I do or talk to yourself for encouragement?